Yesterday our school went to the hall to watch Elgrego's magic show.
When we were ready, Elgrego began his magic, by making birds appear. He made a dove appear in his hands and put it in a cage. The last bird was a parrot. He pulled it out of an empty box.
Next, he performed a magic trick with fizzy drink.
Hi Nathaniel,
ReplyDeleteI like how you have shown time by using the words yesterday and next.
I like how you have told the reader who, what, where and when. I also like the words performed and appeared.
I would like to see if you could put more information into the story/recount. What other tricks did Elgrego perform? Who was our school? How did you feel during this event? Try and take the reader on a journey through your eyes.
Thank you if I have time I will fix it up and make it beter
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